Archives For Encourage

My wife’s parents were role models in showing hospitality.  Dinnertime was not only a social event, it was the main event!  The food was always great and so were the welcome and the conversation.

This is the third in a series of posts honoring the life of a true encourager, my father-in-law, Joe De Ruvo, Sr.  You can find Part 1 and Part 2 on the Encourage and Equip blog.

A Friend of People

My father-in-law was a friend of people, regardless of their church affiliation or absence. Let me explain.

As a kid growing up in New York CIty, I remember the occasional big holiday dinner around the table for hours but the normal daily routine was sitting on the couch with folding snack tables with the evening news on the television.  When I made a dinner reservation at a restaurant, they would ask “what time?” so they could estimate what time the table would be available for the next guest.

While living in Italy many years ago, I noticed a key difference between American culture and Italian.

My daughter Cathy enjoying time with her grandpa after dinner.

In Italy, I quickly learned lingering at the table with loved ones was one of the rewards of making it through the day.  When I made a dinner reservation in Italy, they only asked what day because they reserved the table for the evening.  When you were invited for dinner at Joe and Rose’s (my wife’s parents) you were invited to linger.

At my mother and father-in-law’s, Continue Reading…

Be Kind: We’re All in a Battle.

My first two posts on Encourage and Equip were designed to lay a foundation for why we need encouragers so much in our day (Why Pt. 1, Why Pt. 2).  However, there is one area I really wanted to write about because it is so critical. But, I wasn’t sure people were ready to receive the message. I wasn’t quite sure how to communicate the message clearly without sounding like an alarmist, a religious nut or fanatic.

At the very core of my being, my heart cries out that the reason we need to encourage people is that we are all in a battle.  Most people don’t even realize it.  Those who are aware of the battle tend to underestimate the opposition–It’s much more than a pillow fight!

The Foundation

At the heart of my thinking on encouragement Continue Reading…

Consider what happens when we encourage someone.

Definition of ENCOURAGE

1a: to inspire with courage…

Definition of COURAGE

mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

the ability to do something that you know is difficult or dangerous

Source: Merriam Webster Continue Reading…

Up till now, I’ve been trying to help us understand the need for encouragement in our day. In Part 1, we explored the impact of a culture that focuses on the negative. In Part 2, we considered the impact of fear-based marketing tactics. We could continue to explore the reasons people need to be encouraged. But, I’d like to shift the focus to the positive.

A little encouragement can make a big difference. You can even start small.

Encouragement tip #1: Validate Existence!

Some people have been so abused or neglected by so many people, that just saying hello will make a difference in their day.

For example, the movie musical, Chicago, has a sad-sack character, Amos Hart, who exemplifies this. His big solo reveals the depth of his self-esteem crisis…

John C. Reilly as Amos Hart. Photo: https://www.facebook.com/ChicagoMovie

John C. Reilly as Amos Hart.
Photo: https://www.facebook.com/ChicagoMovie

And even without clucking like a hen
everyone gets noticed, now and then,
Unless, of course, that personage should be
Invisible, inconsequential me!

Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Should have been my name!!!!
Mister cellophane
’cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I’m there!

Now, his character is written to be somewhat likable and largely pathetic at the same time. John C. Reilly does a masterful job at portraying this. As if the lines above don’t paint enough of a picture, when the lawyer (played by Richard Gere) suggests Amos should divorce his wife, Amos rises to his feet and shouts, “I’ll divorce her!” Then he catches himself and says, “She probably won’t even notice.”

Continue Reading…