Archives For Overcoming Fear

Have you ever noticed that some people just can’t take a compliment?

I invest a ton of time and energy reminding Christ-followers (including myself) of the importance of encouraging one another.  But have you noticed that some people are hard to encourage?

They may not even realize it. But a compliment triggers something inside them that shouts, “you are unworthy.”  For whatever reason, they feel awkward being appreciated.

Copyright: ivelin DepositPhoto18908817

Before I mention the three steps to accepting a compliment let’s briefly look at some reasons people struggle.

Why Some People Can’t Receive a Compliment

Insecurity or Fear

They might be afraid that they can’t live up to the higher standard in the future. Some people have been bullied into submission by friends or family members afraid of being outshined.  They’ve been conditioned to think it is unsafe to be celebrated.

Perfectionism

They might feel unworthy because they are intensely aware of the imperfections in the product or performance that the average person would never even notice.

Pride

This comes from a different place.  To give the benefit of the doubt, some people have worked very hard to be able to fulfill their role in life.  Whether it be an entertainer, teacher, speaker, or political leader, they may feel that the average person isn’t even qualified to evaluate their performance.  To be fair, I’m not sure I would want to have an untrained person conduct an annual review that would impact my salary or job security.  But anytime we offer a product or service to the world, every single consumer is in the position to evaluate our offering as worthy of their time and hard-earned money.

Whatever the reason, I have seen people so uncomfortable in receiving a compliment, that they belittle or even abuse the person giving the compliment.  In an effort to appear humble, some people reject the compliment by criticizing themselves to compensate for the compliment.  I’m often amazed at how willing humans are to pounce on the self-destruct button.

How to Give a Compliment

I write much about how to encourage people but for now, I want to focus on an important character trait—humility. Continue Reading…

I had the honor of guest blogging on the Defying Shadows website today as part of their #Fearless365 series. I was able to share some personal reflections on Luke 5:10 and part of my own testimony as I related to Jesus inviting Simon Peter to a career upgrade.  The following originally appeared at https://defyingshadows.com/2017/03/03/fearless365-luke-510/.

 

and so were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, Simon’s partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Don’t be afraid; from now on you will fish for people.”

Luke 5:10

I can empathize with Simon Peter. When Jesus spoke the words, “Don’t be afraid”, he knew that the Holy Spirit was at work in Simon’s heart.

Exhausted after a long night of commercial fishing with nothing to show for his efforts, Simon agreed to let Jesus use his boat as a platform to address the gathered crowd on the shore. Simon continued to wash his nets while listening to the master teacher at work. When Jesus finished, he told Simon to go out into deep water and let down the nets for a catch. The experienced fisherman surely knew it would be fruitless to expect to catch fish in the heat of the day. But, something inside compelled him to follow the teacher’s suggestion.

I can imagine Simon’s shock as the image of his formerly empty nets contrasts with the nets that were now so full that he had to call to his partners to help bring in the catch. Continue Reading…

OvercomeEvil2

A lot of people find spending time in prayer particularly challenging. They carve out some time. They muster up all their self-discipline and courage, get on their knees, and then say, “OK, what do I do now?!”

Personally, I have often found it helpful to have a variety of resources available to help me stay focused during prayer. I share this not because I am a spiritual giant. Rather, I often find it such a struggle to stay focused in prayer that I have had to discover or develop tools to help.

I have found three resources, or methods, immensely helpful in developing confidence and consistency in my own prayer life. In this book. I weave all three of those methods together for a powerful combination in Time with God: Develop Confidence and Consistency in Your Personal Prayer Life.

This book is designed to serve as a resource to help us grow closer to God and to build confidence and consistency in our personal prayer lives. Primarily, we need to remember that prayer is simply spending time with God. Unfortunately, we can complicate it so much that we get confused, insecure, bored, or distracted. Continue Reading…

The Supreme Court delivered another major decision today. Some of my friends will be Partying like it’s 1999 and other friends will be thinking “It’s the End of the World as We Know It”. What an opportunity to Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Matt Wade's Picture of the U.S. Supreme Court

By UpstateNYer (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

  • To those who are celebrating, may you enjoy your new freedom to move around the country and the rights that accompany it. Please be patient with those who will be processing what this will mean in the long term. I’ve seen people in both camps voice concerns over the impact.
  • To those who mourn today, my other friends, who are wondering how this decision will affect your ministries or churches, can I share a few thoughts?

Continue Reading…

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear—not absence of fear.

Mark Twain (Pudd’nhead Wilson 1894)